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Your little one has a strange talent for:
1. Knocking on your bedroom door exactly when you are about to have sex.
2. Enter your bedroom without knocking when you are already enjoying sex.
The more children you have, the less chances you have to enjoy sex peacefully and without hindrance.
1. From a kiss, most of the child's sores disappear.
2. Kissing all sores is a full-time occupation.
Five minutes before the guests arrive, your little one:
1. B Will suddenly forget how he was taught to potty.
2. Suddenly forget all good manners.
1. When you say no to babies, they don't believe you really meant to tell them not to.
2. They will beg over and over again until you say yes.
3. Even if you don't say yes, they will do what they wanted anyway.
The more persistently and firmly you forbid something, the more often they will do it.
1. The louder you scream, the less they hear you.
2. The less they hear you, the louder you have to scream.
When you catch your child beating another child, you need to grab him tightly, spank him properly and bark: "Now you will know how to be cruel!" ... and he will really know.
1. The lighter the pain, the longer and louder they cry.
2. The more you comfort them, the louder and longer they cry.
You cannot "catch them doing something right" until they actually do it right.
1. The intensity of the hysteria is inversely proportional to the importance of the event that generated it.
2. The more intense the hysteria, the less likely it is that someone will be able to remember what caused it.
3. The more persistently you persuade your two-year-old to calm down, the longer the tantrum will last.
4. The more discouraged and unsettled you are by the child throwing a tantrum at you, the longer it will be.
1. There are over a thousand different methods of teaching how to use the toilet.
2. None of them work.
3. Don't worry ... very few children wear diapers or diapers when they go to school or even kindergarten.
The next day, after you finally give up and give up trying to teach them this tricky business, they immediately start going to the potty on their own initiative.
1. As soon as the baby is tightly packed in a jumpsuit for playing in the snow, he immediately wants to go to the potty.
2. If, before putting your baby to bed, you forget to take him to the toilet, he will write to the crib.
3. If, before putting your baby to bed, you take him to the toilet, he will still write to the crib.
When you are no longer able to endure everything that happens, hide in the toilet. Thus, you will get yourself a few minutes of peace and quiet. Until the moment when they find out where you are and begin to break down the door.
The next night after you change your baby to bed, he will write a good letter to bed.
1. When you are going to go with the children to the store, they never want to go to the toilet before leaving.
2. As soon as you arrived at the store, they just die - so they want to go to the toilet.
3. Unfortunately the store does not have a toilet for them to use.
4. When you finally find a toilet they can use, it's too late.