How to increase confidence



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Any person, even if they have professional skills, needs confidence. Self-confident people can articulate their thoughts clearly, be a good conversationalist.

But sometimes we cannot adequately assess our skills, doubting ourselves. This article will provide tips to eliminate self-doubt, develop confidence in communication and in your qualities.

Don't try to get rid of doubts. Anyone starting something new has to struggle with doubts. Will he succeed? Will not his work be in vain? It is worth remembering the phrase of Hesse, who said that faith and doubt are inextricably linked, making one condition one. This means that uncertainty is a natural thing that will necessarily be at the beginning of any project. And do not try to run away from this, there is nothing wrong with doubts. So you should not allow them, but just go about your business, not listening to interfering internal voices. Doubt is emotions that are not connected with reality. If you make every effort, then indecision will disappear.

Know the moments when faith goes away. It is worth highlighting the situations when doubts are plagued. This can be minutes of falling asleep. Then you can get used to it and be condescending. And if it is not possible to completely ignore the inner voice, you can always make an allowance for the usual emotional state for such a situation. If there is a certain pattern, then the price of such doubts will decrease. And, conversely, you need to catch moments of self-confidence, focusing on them. In such a state, it is worth thinking about a subject that is in doubt. On a wave of cheerfulness and strength, it will be easier to decide on something.

Know your strengths. At the moment of frustration, just one careless comment from the outside can damage confidence in the action being taken. Unfortunately, people overestimate the importance of the current moment, immediately transferring it to the global perception of life. The realization that they are not capable of anything leads to the idea that this has always been the case. Previous successes and strengths are forgotten. At such moments, you can't give in to the mood, but you should try to really assess yourself. There is a lot of what a person can do and what he has already achieved. Facts will help bring back an adequate view of reality. And it is on them that you should rely, and not on momentary emotions and doubts.

Do not listen to those who talk about the hopelessness of the case. When there are doubts about the success of the business, you always want to consult with family and friends. Where else can I find support? But it happens that they, on the contrary, warn about the hopelessness of the event. Some people just think about their psychological comfort and not about the personal happiness of another. But are there so few insecure people? And are there only winners around? Many are simply afraid to go on an independent voyage, they believe that others, for the same reason, are unable to achieve success. These people are waiting for your failure, because luck will be a reproach to them. How can a hired employee give good advice on starting a business? That is why it is worth taking advice not from everyone in a row, but from those who have really achieved success in the right area. It is from them that it is worth taking an example.

In moments of doubt, present yourself as perfect. Our insecurity sometimes tries to present itself as common sense. We believe that we are incapable of doing something for some objective reason. So, a guy is afraid to meet a girl, considering himself ugly, stupid, knowing that she already has someone. In fact, these are all traits of uncertainty. You need to form an image of your ideal self in your head. He is not afraid of anything and is always confident in himself. What would our ideal clone do in a critical situation? Would he have retreated? But you should not rush headlong to repeat all the actions after him, we are not ideal. You just need to realize that we differ only in fears and doubts, it is they that do not allow us to act. Then the problem will immediately cease to be as complex as it seemed. And now it will be much easier to decide on action.

Remember that everything depends only on ourselves. In moments when you are tormented by doubts, you need to understand that everything depends only on you. It is we who determine the success of the business. If you show diligence, then everything will certainly work out. And if not, then no one bothers to try again. Each of us is free to manifest our innate qualities, which will help to get what we want from life. More depends on our will than we usually think. And we must stop seeing obstacles everywhere. The road will be mastered by the walking!

Discard paranoia. Sometimes it seems that everyone around us is closely watching us, noticing shortcomings, mistakes, memorizing words. In fact, everyone is fixated on their own problems. People think of themselves, even pretending to listen to others. That is why paranoia is unnecessary. Don't be afraid to communicate or speak publicly. And we are clearly not in the center of the Universe, so that everyone only thinks about us.

Listen to others. If we learn to concentrate our attention on someone other than ourselves, then our mind will not have time to suffer from doubts. Why not listen to outsiders instead of worrying only about yourself? So you can not only get distracted from your fears, but also look more closely at others, noticing something new in them.

Get rid of perfectionism. It should be understood that no one is perfect, including us. And it's worth accepting. Based on this, you should stop reacting painfully to your failures. But they are trying to shake their self-confidence. So, understanding your wrong step or words, you just need to draw conclusions from this and not repeat mistakes in the future. It will be much more productive than reprimanding yourself for mistakes.

Don't be afraid of people. We are surrounded by people, each of whom has its own weaknesses and shortcomings. True, at the same time, they can look extremely confident in themselves. Do not assume that there are only professionals around us. Rather, on the contrary, there are much more insecure and self-doubting people. They just hide it better. And there is no need to be afraid of people, especially if they cannot harm us. Our bosses, colleagues, women and men are just like us.

You don't have to seem better than you are. In trying to convince others that we are the smartest and best, it is important not to overdo it. After all, this will be the best evidence of self-doubt. When we do not feel our strength, we try to convince others of their presence. So ostentatious boasting, vanity, assertiveness in communication can tell about inner doubts and insecurity. That is why you cannot try to look better yourself than you really are. It is worth starting persuasion with yourself. And to other people, we should seem exactly who we are.

Don't be overly humble. In moderation, humility adorns people. And if you can't seem better than you are, then you shouldn't underestimate your capabilities either. If asked about the merits in the interview, why not confidently talk about them? If a person boldly speaks about his best qualities, then this indicates his self-confidence. This is noted from the outside, flowing into confidence in the person himself. Since we do not doubt, speaking about the merits, then there is no reason to look for disadvantages. If our qualities are appreciated by others, then there is no need to be embarrassed when receiving compliments. After all, we really deserve it. You just need to thank for the kind words addressed to you.

To portray self-confidence. And while we've already talked about the importance of being yourself, in some situations it is worth portraying confidence when feeling lack of confidence. First of all, it is simply beneficial, as it creates a positive image. Confident people are more loved and trusted. And even with the illusion of such a feeling, part of it nevertheless passes to us. Often, our insecurity is an emotion that interferes with the manifestation of real qualities. But you can not follow the lead of feelings, but take them under your control.

Maintain goodwill. It’s not hard to smile more, to be interested in the problems of others and to encourage them. This will help to win over the interlocutors. And when they are predisposed to you, then it will be easier to maintain confidence in themselves.

Be sincere. It is important to be open about your views and share your thoughts. This will help you not to become isolated. But at the same time, it is worth assessing the situation, would such an approach violate the comfort of other people? Being insecure, we constantly do not speak out, keeping something inside. But it doesn't help to gain confidence, it only takes it away. Self-development makes us open, for close people we must always be sincere. You can safely talk about your views, and if they are wrong, then why not change them under the influence of reasonable criticism and arguments? It's so interesting to discuss different topics, to broaden your horizons. Speaking your thoughts out loud and presenting them to the judgment of others, you have to drop all doubts. It fosters self-confidence as we put ourselves to the test with criticism and someone else's point of view. Such factors strengthen faith. And you should not wait for the first step from someone, sometimes you can take it yourself, if the circumstances are conducive to this. Sincere dialogue will sweep away all barriers. And if we are frank with a person, then he will answer us in kind. And when we realize that we have opened up, it will give confidence.

Attention to external data. Do not forget that you are greeted by clothes. But intelligence, charisma and charm are also important, playing an even greater role.

You can't be shy. One must learn to speak clearly, while looking into the eyes of the interlocutors and not waving his hands. Do not wrinkle your fingers, pick your lips, pull sounds. It is worth learning to take care of yourself and your body, hone your communication skills. Sooner or later, not a trace of timidity will remain. Then thoughts that prevent you from deciding on something important will disappear from your head. Internal barriers will melt with them.

Help people. In case of assistance, it will not go unnoticed. Our experience, skills and knowledge will be appreciated. And then they will certainly answer us, if not with support, then with gratitude, believing in us. This is a good foundation for building confidence.

Do not look for the problem only in yourself. Yes, you often need to be able to take responsibility upon yourself, and not shift it onto others. But with this rule, care is needed. Sometimes we are not understood and supported, but it is not our fault. Others may be to blame. Someone, in principle, is not capable of understanding and is not ready to make contact, others with a laugh perceive all other people's ideas, asserting themselves. And someone is angry at the whole world, criticizing everyone and everything. It’s worth accepting this and stopping blaming ourselves for things that are not our fault.

Think about what's next? Did you make a bad impression? So what? What will be next? Is it so important what the people you see for the first time think of you and with whom, most likely, you will not have contact? Are there any fears that the girl will refuse to go on a date? If this happens, then life will not stop. So why be afraid of that? Have a fear of your boss? But what can he do, because this is the same person with his own burden of responsibility. Children in the kindergarten are also afraid of their educators, you should not be like them. There are many reasons for fear in our life - interviews, talking about salaries. Let people think what they want, we have our own goals. Some fear shouldn't get in our way. If the question "and what's next" we will ask ourselves every time in fear and doubt, we will understand that many situations do not deserve to be worried about them. Some people are quite harmless, so why be shy about your fears?

Stick to your opinion. There are things about which you need to maintain an unshakable position and firm views. And here you can't rush to agree with everyone. It's not about blind stubbornness. An aggressive, assertive defense of one's judgments will also be a mistake. This suggests that there is a certain deliberate position that a random opinion cannot shake. Words and actions should be based on such principles. And that kind of confidence will help you go about your business.

Learn from life itself. It’s not hard to find several workshops and courses that can help build your confidence. But why pay, if reality itself gives many reasons to develop such qualities in oneself? We will be taught to behave on the example of artificial situations. Confidence is necessary for life, so it is worth learning from it. To do this, you need to communicate more, to meet interesting people. The advice received should be applied in practice, observing yourself and realizing at what moments uncertainty manifests itself. Then it is worth thinking about why this is happening and what to do with it next. Going to interviews will be a good lesson; they will become free business classes.

Develop yourself. It is difficult to believe in your qualities if they are poorly developed. To realize your powers, you need them to be really present. Self-perception and emotional attitude are important parts of confidence. But this alone is not enough. Raising faith must certainly go along with self-development, then something will appear in a person on which the awareness of possibilities will be based. For this, it is necessary to improve your personal qualities. Reading specialized blogs, fiction and educational literature will help develop willpower and self-control. It is worth thinking about improving professional skills, realizing your ultimate goal and following towards it. You should always strive to find something new in this world and learn. And with the acquisition of new skills, self-confidence will also increase. How can you doubt what has been given so much time and what is better than others?

Accept your flaws. In addition to knowing your strengths, you must not forget about your shortcomings. And this is important, because a calm and thoughtful attitude will help you understand what needs to be worked on. And it is not worth focusing on this, on the fact that you do not know how to do anything. Why not think about what you still know how, but there are some drawbacks. This will highlight qualities that can be improved, some may turn out to be unnecessary, and with something nothing can be done about it. But that's okay - you can't be perfect. You can just make a list of what is bad in life, and then think about all the points. And these shortcomings are not a given and a constant, but something that can be worked on. Through effort, everything can change. If you believe that all qualities can be developed (and this is really so) and strive for this, then life situations in which insecurity will manifest itself can be avoided. For those who have difficulty communicating, it may be advisable to talk more with people. If there is a fear of performing in front of an audience, then there is only one way to learn it. We must not be afraid, but go forward.

Do not wait for the arrival of confidence, but start acting. This tip is both the last and the most important. There is no need to wait for the moment until fear and uncertainty leave the soul. So you can spend your whole life without starting to do anything.It must be understood that fears will not go away, they, as already mentioned, accompany any business. And you cannot become self-confident until you start to step over complexes and tightness. Contrary to them, we must fight anxiety. And our goal is not to get rid of fear, but to control it. And the stronger it is, the easier it will ultimately be. You shouldn't wait until it becomes easy. Life will temper us and make our character really solid.


Watch the video: How to Build Self Confidence. CeCe Olisa. TEDxFresnoState


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